I had some colleagues over for dinner the other day. One of them at some point asked me whether I’d had any trouble with rats so far since I’d moved into the old part of the town. (Way to go! What a topic to choose over spinach lasagne!) Me (furrowed brow, slightly taken aback): “Wh-what? Wh-why? Um, n-no?!” (more face-making)
Let me get this straight. I’ve seen my share of rats ever since I moved out of the sheltered, apparently rat-free smalltown world of my childhood. In front of one of my former appartments, there was a deserted site. For reasons best known to themselves, someone always placed open tins of cat food there. Why, the rats loved that, obviously. A circumstance that taught me that a hustle in the hedgerow on your way home is hardly ever just a spring clean for the may queen.
And the river Rhine is a great place to stumble across rats. Just go for a litlle stroll of an evening and there they all are, meeting their friends at the ferry landing place for their daily twilight chat…
But I digress.
The kind of rat-trouble my friend was aiming at was the rats-coming-out-of-your-toilet sort of trouble! Apparently, back in her student days, it was common knowledge that the pipes of these old buildings are very popular hiking sites amongst rats. And that you should always close the lid of your toilet whenever you go away for the weekend or on holiday. Now this was the part that really blew me! Because, what’s this supposed to mean? That the rats take turns to spy me out for weeks to establish when my flat/bathroom/toilet is most likely to be empty before they make their way up the pipes? And anyhow, wouldn’t they be able to lift the lid from below, giving each other a piggy-back?
Rat-quotes seem to abound these days:
Don’t feed the rats, don’t let them in…
Nachts schlafen die Ratten doch!
Denn das tollste Tier, das ich hatte, war eine flache Ratte...
Maybe I should open a self-help group with Duffy, Borchert and Van Dannen. And I’m sure there are more of us out there!
I seriously consider keeping a roll of extra strong sellotape next to my toilet and tape the lid down every night. And maybe I will tip-off the cat that always tries to climb in through my skilight, tell her to bide her time…
Rats!
Let me get this straight. I’ve seen my share of rats ever since I moved out of the sheltered, apparently rat-free smalltown world of my childhood. In front of one of my former appartments, there was a deserted site. For reasons best known to themselves, someone always placed open tins of cat food there. Why, the rats loved that, obviously. A circumstance that taught me that a hustle in the hedgerow on your way home is hardly ever just a spring clean for the may queen.
And the river Rhine is a great place to stumble across rats. Just go for a litlle stroll of an evening and there they all are, meeting their friends at the ferry landing place for their daily twilight chat…
But I digress.
The kind of rat-trouble my friend was aiming at was the rats-coming-out-of-your-toilet sort of trouble! Apparently, back in her student days, it was common knowledge that the pipes of these old buildings are very popular hiking sites amongst rats. And that you should always close the lid of your toilet whenever you go away for the weekend or on holiday. Now this was the part that really blew me! Because, what’s this supposed to mean? That the rats take turns to spy me out for weeks to establish when my flat/bathroom/toilet is most likely to be empty before they make their way up the pipes? And anyhow, wouldn’t they be able to lift the lid from below, giving each other a piggy-back?
Rat-quotes seem to abound these days:
Don’t feed the rats, don’t let them in…
Nachts schlafen die Ratten doch!
Denn das tollste Tier, das ich hatte, war eine flache Ratte...
Maybe I should open a self-help group with Duffy, Borchert and Van Dannen. And I’m sure there are more of us out there!
I seriously consider keeping a roll of extra strong sellotape next to my toilet and tape the lid down every night. And maybe I will tip-off the cat that always tries to climb in through my skilight, tell her to bide her time…
Rats!
Auf deutsch könnte man noch die ganze Tiefspüler/Flachspüler-Debatte aufmachen. Don't get me started...
AntwortenLöschenI translated the whole page before actually checking to see if any was in English.. Bad idea.. the Windows live translator isn't that good(aparently)I read the "rat" story in the translated window and It translated Rat to Council!! so it made interesting reading before I eventually spotted it was in English all along..
AntwortenLöschenE xx
Ps. I assume you have guessed who this is.. Is it my boundless wit that gave me away?? LOL
Yes, that (your boundless wit) and the fact that you're about the only person I know starting with an E...
AntwortenLöschenSo you are suggesting my English needs translating into real English?!?
Now that it turns out you actually do read my stuff I'll feel bad every time I write something in German, 'cause I know those translaters are good for nothing except laughing your head off... ;-)