How do you spell "um-bear-as-sing"?

Apparently, we must have had one of those magical blue moons over the weekend, because, lo and behold!, that most priced, lost-presumed-dead, shrouded-in-legend bloody document has turned up again! Either that, or I simply have the world's most selfless, patient, long-suffering of all friends, who not only insisted on sacrificing a whole Saturday for me to meticulously scrutinize every single piece of paper in my posession in search of the legendary document,
she also found it!!!
Just like that! (Well, after about four hours.)
And she even has the grace to not rub it in (too much) on every conceivable occasion, but to just be happy that "we" found it and that she could be of help!
Incredible.
I know I would never ever shut up about it if I was in her place. What a sad little lunatic I am! (No news there.) Because apparently the papers (not one but, in fact, four of them - my eyewitness accounts obviously aren't worth a farthing!) were, after all, in that most likely of all folders all along. In the one with all the reeeaally important university stuff, in a clear, plastic sleeve, but alas, unfortunately camouflaged as something else.
Well, maybe best not to dwell on this any longer. Suffice to say that the monster has sulkily retreated back into its corner under the bed for now, gnawing at some left-over nightmares of mine.

Oh, while she was at it, my friend also found the original of my leaving certificate. You know, the one that was very, very definitely gone? The one I thought I had forgotten on a photocopier in Leipzig about twelve years ago? The one I caused a minor all-hands-on-deck situation at my old school over about three years ago? The one that provided the infamous precedence for the case above, proving that things can and do, in fact, disappear for good?
Yeah, that one.
(surreptitiously sidling off stage)