Anti-Climax.

After all these weeks of longing for the end of the semester and all that talk of how my resolutions would have to keep until then, of how I would completely start over, reorganize my life, start cooking and eating healthily again, get exercise, all that talk of postponing my real New Year's celebrations until this weekend and after making a big show of how I was going to round up everyone and go out and have the best time ever... I really would have expected to be feeling a lot more upbeat right now than I actually do.
As it is I'm having a hard time simply getting up and dressed, let alone implement any of those big-mouthed plans.
Amongst other things, I totally blame that conducting teacher of mine, who very definitely spoiled my mood by giving me a grade I don't think I deserve. Yes, I passed. And yes, who's gonna want to see that bloody certificate at the end of the day anyway? And yes, it's all water down the drain now, so stop being a sore loser. But I really feel unjustly judged. I truly did fairly well in that exam, not worse than most of the others anyway, so I deserve to get the same grade as they did. But apparently I'm under a misapprehension. I must have developed a sudden, strong case of overestimating my own capabilities.

Well, that's a first.

Anyhow. Following that unnerving and so, so irritating saying of "God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference" I should probably pray for serenity and get started on that second bit, the one I have some power over. Like stopping buying all those deep-freeze pizzas and boldly venture into the fruit-and-veg-section of the supermarket again, now that I've the time again to actually cook something. Maybe energy and good humour will turn up, if I trick them into thinking they're already here.
What a cunning plan!