You know how you're supposed to always let the battery of your mobile, cordless phone, mp3-player etc. run completely empty until recharging it? So that when you recharge it, you charge it fully? Because otherwise the memory capacity of it will wear down?
Well, mine is worn down good and proper.
As of today I appear to be at the point where I don't last the week any longer. Wednesday, 5pm (in the middle of my piano lesson) definitely is way too early for my battery to keel over and die on me. It used to last until Friday round noon, the way it's supposed to. Then I had a good few weeks where I made it through til Thursday noon, which gave me a couple of hours to catch up on sleep before heading out again. So now we're down to Wednesday. I only just made it home, closed the door behind me, changed into my pyjamas straight away (because once I'm on my bed, like now, I'll never manage to get up again) and burst into tears from pure exhaustion. Nothing else, really, nothing extraordinary happened.
I'm very simply beat. It's an actual job to lift my fingers to type. And I guess I should just turn off the lights and go to sleep, but you see, that's not the way it works. It's not only hours of sleep my body screams to catch up on but also hours of "time off". Because if I go to sleep too soon, the next thing my mind will register is "What? It's the start of another working day already??? This can't be right. I've only just come home from work!"
That just won't do.
All this just won't do.
But there's nothing really to cut back on. (And believe me, I looked hard.)
So, I am deeply grateful for small mercies - like the fact that I accompany the Third Years to the museum tomorrow instead of teaching... - and pray for the next two weeks to pass in a trance!
Well, mine is worn down good and proper.
As of today I appear to be at the point where I don't last the week any longer. Wednesday, 5pm (in the middle of my piano lesson) definitely is way too early for my battery to keel over and die on me. It used to last until Friday round noon, the way it's supposed to. Then I had a good few weeks where I made it through til Thursday noon, which gave me a couple of hours to catch up on sleep before heading out again. So now we're down to Wednesday. I only just made it home, closed the door behind me, changed into my pyjamas straight away (because once I'm on my bed, like now, I'll never manage to get up again) and burst into tears from pure exhaustion. Nothing else, really, nothing extraordinary happened.
I'm very simply beat. It's an actual job to lift my fingers to type. And I guess I should just turn off the lights and go to sleep, but you see, that's not the way it works. It's not only hours of sleep my body screams to catch up on but also hours of "time off". Because if I go to sleep too soon, the next thing my mind will register is "What? It's the start of another working day already??? This can't be right. I've only just come home from work!"
That just won't do.
All this just won't do.
But there's nothing really to cut back on. (And believe me, I looked hard.)
So, I am deeply grateful for small mercies - like the fact that I accompany the Third Years to the museum tomorrow instead of teaching... - and pray for the next two weeks to pass in a trance!
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