I would like to file a complaint:
For twelve days now I haven't been able to eat anything that didn't come straight out again in some bizarre way (no, not that way, the other way). I'm struggling hard here to edit out all the too-much-information bits, so imagine this first part a good deal longer and more detailed, if you will.
Suffice to say, it's not good. And it's certainly no fun. Eating being one of my principal hobbies (and I'm rather good at it, too, if I may say so myself), I have no talent whatsoever for asceticism and dieting and it's getting me down. Also, it leaves me unfavourably short of energy, which is always a bonus when trying to keep in check 30 adolescents.
But what I hate most is the way it's messing with my head. Every time I tentatively eat something I start watching my body for the immediate effects, scrutinize every tweak and twinge and subsequently formulate a new theory, because, let's face it, a regular gastrointestinal bug should surely have been on its way out by now?! So, what else can it be? I've so far been trying to cut out dairy products, then added a gluten-free diet to that for good measure and a couple of days. I really cannot recommend either, but you definitely shouldn't opt for doing both at the same time. Doesn't leave much except maize and rice to fill you up, especially if you've already abandoned fruit acids (what are the symptoms of scurvy, by the way?).
Anyhow, none of the above theories so far truly stood the test of time, or rather, food. So yesterday I carefully ventured back into the terrain of "normal" food (white bread, pasta, grilled chicken, watered-down juice) and was thrilled when it seemed to go down (and stay down, bahahaa... oh, stop it!) well. Until... I had a few pieces of shortbread earlier... So, here we are, back on square one, possibly headed for Lactose Intolerance Valley, calling at Bellyache Town and Cramp City Central.
Great.
Oh, and yes, I have actually seen two doctors about it, who weren't overly fazed at the time, but I guess I just might have to drag my sore ass down to the GP's again on Monday. See if he's intrigued now.
The queen meanwhile is not amused.
For twelve days now I haven't been able to eat anything that didn't come straight out again in some bizarre way (no, not that way, the other way). I'm struggling hard here to edit out all the too-much-information bits, so imagine this first part a good deal longer and more detailed, if you will.
Suffice to say, it's not good. And it's certainly no fun. Eating being one of my principal hobbies (and I'm rather good at it, too, if I may say so myself), I have no talent whatsoever for asceticism and dieting and it's getting me down. Also, it leaves me unfavourably short of energy, which is always a bonus when trying to keep in check 30 adolescents.
But what I hate most is the way it's messing with my head. Every time I tentatively eat something I start watching my body for the immediate effects, scrutinize every tweak and twinge and subsequently formulate a new theory, because, let's face it, a regular gastrointestinal bug should surely have been on its way out by now?! So, what else can it be? I've so far been trying to cut out dairy products, then added a gluten-free diet to that for good measure and a couple of days. I really cannot recommend either, but you definitely shouldn't opt for doing both at the same time. Doesn't leave much except maize and rice to fill you up, especially if you've already abandoned fruit acids (what are the symptoms of scurvy, by the way?).
Anyhow, none of the above theories so far truly stood the test of time, or rather, food. So yesterday I carefully ventured back into the terrain of "normal" food (white bread, pasta, grilled chicken, watered-down juice) and was thrilled when it seemed to go down (and stay down, bahahaa... oh, stop it!) well. Until... I had a few pieces of shortbread earlier... So, here we are, back on square one, possibly headed for Lactose Intolerance Valley, calling at Bellyache Town and Cramp City Central.
Great.
Oh, and yes, I have actually seen two doctors about it, who weren't overly fazed at the time, but I guess I just might have to drag my sore ass down to the GP's again on Monday. See if he's intrigued now.
The queen meanwhile is not amused.
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