Guess where I've been!!
Well, who wouldn't want five Chinese pigs on their birthday cake?
Note for future reference: In a real Chinese restaurant never, ever order the crispy duck and fried pork with rice. Always, always look around you and order what the others are having. Because on leaving you'll notice that the fatty, inedible "meat" you'd been served had been hanging in the restaurant window all along.
Two guards march off through a slightly over-enthusiastic tourist throng with blank, dead serious expressions. One murmurs to the other: "Make it quick!" Exeunt.
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